McAlister . . . and other links

Have you seen a movie called Orgazmo?

It came from the twisted minds of South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone - or is it Matt Parker and Trey Stone? - and tells the story of a naive Mormon chap who inadvertently finds himself acting in a pornographic movie.

It's terribly lame but one of the memorable characters is Dave The Lighting Guy (played by, er, either Parker or Stone). His stock phrase is: "I don't wanna sound like a queer or nuthin' but...". He starts by adding things like "unicorns are kick-ass" and "I'm really gonna miss you guys when the show's over". The funniest moment in the movie is when he turns to a male character and says: "I don't wanna sound like a queer or nuthin' . . . but I kinda wanna make love to you tonight."

In the spirit of Dave, I have to admit: I don't wanna sound like a queer or nuthin', but my most vivid memory of Luke McAlister is his legs.

Seriously. McAlister was one of the first All Blacks I interviewed in the flesh (stop it) and I couldn't BELIEVE the size of his pins. He wasn't that tall or massive in the upper body, but he was held up by thighs the size of 40-gallon drums. It was a real insight into just how big professional rugby players are.

Anyway, McAlister has announced he's leaving New Zealand rugby for a second time, to play for French club Toulouse.

He's had an interesting career. McAlister was a boom youngster out of North Harbour, introduced to the All Blacks at a young age and seen as a natural complement for Dan Carter in an exciting 10-12 combination.

McAlister could run and kick and he was strong and he had pace. It seemed certain he would have a long and fruitful All Black career.

But he never quite kicked on. He was sinbinned in the All Blacks' quarterfinal loss to France in Cardiff in 2007, and when the team needed him to run the show late in that game, with Carter and Nick Evans hobbled, he could not.

McAlister took off overseas, aged just 24, and spent two years playing in England. Then he came home, was fast-tracked into the All Blacks and never really shone.

This year, McAlister has actually played quite well at times for the Blues, but it seems either he has again got itchy feet, or the All Black selectors do not want him.

He'll go down as just another All Black, unfortunately.

Other interesting bits and pieces today:

- The amazing photo from the ice hockey riots in Vancouver.

- A nice column about the carnage.

- The Boston Bruins' fascinating and heroic goaltender.

- A great Deadspin piece about Dirk Nowitzki.

- Swimming New Zealand hammered for being "dysfunctional".

- All Blacks advised to lay off Twitter during the World Cup.

- And this magnificent, hilarious video of Conan O'Brien speaking at a college graduation.

Hero MP . . . and other links

I don't think a great deal of politicians but Claire Curran has just won my vote. Well, she would have if I lived within her electorate.

Curran, the Labour MP for Dunedin South, got booted from Parliament today for committing the shocking crime of wearing a Highlanders jersey.

No, not the snot-green abomination; the traditional blue-gold-maroon top.

Nice work, Claire. Not only for showing your support for the Highlanders fans who want the new jersey burned at the stake, but for revealing again that Parliament is a joke: you can act like a 5-year-old and call other people names, but you can't wear a rugby jersey.

Other stories to follow:

- New South Wales has called in Will Hopoate, the 19-year-old son of controversial former player John Hopate, for State of Origin 2;

- Corrupt Fifa boss Sepp Blatter says, with a straight face, he wants an opera singer to join his new Council of Wisdom;

- My beloved Liverpool is about to splash another ridiculous amount of money on another unproven kid;

- The Boston Bruins have bounced back in style in ice hockey's Stanley Cup finals;

- The latest ODT online club rugby video.

Deaks . . . and other links

It's been a fairly quiet Saturday with a bit of fathering, a bit of gardening and just a little bit of LA Noire, the amazing-looking 1940s detective game. I've reviewed it for Tuesday's signal.

The plan tonight was to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest but it hasn't panned out. F*&%ing Bones is on instead.

Anway, some links to things worthy of a look today:

- Stupid old broadcaster casually drops the N word. Sigh. And for everyone condemning him, there's two others trying to excuse him. Double sigh.

-  ESPN columnist Rick Reilly with a nice piece on why you should support the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA finals, now tied at 1-1 after the Mavs' extraordinary comeback in Game 2. Reilly pours it on a bit thick sometimes but he can still write beautifully when he wants to.

- A review of the new book just released about the ESPN empire. Hmmm, wonder if a copy will turn up at the ODT?

- Some background to the bidding war about to erupt for Olympic Games broadcasting rights.

- Today's games in the Highlanders First XV competition.

- Today's games in Dunedin premier club rugby.

- A great Guardian piece on Irish boxer Barry McGuigan.

- And finally, an unbelievably cool clip of American late show host Jimmy Fallon pretending to be Bob Dylan singing the theme to Charles in Charge.