My World Cup XV - Halfback

In which the blogger picks the team he wants to represent the All Blacks when they choke compete in the Rugby World Cup in September-October.

 
9 - Jimmy Cowan

There was a time when I would not have dreamed of considering Jimmy Cowan an automatic selection for the All Blacks.

As a halfback, I thought his pass was only serviceable, his running game non-existent and his generalship questionable.

And as a person, while he was a likeable sort, his brushes with the law and drinking issues made me wonder if he was going to simply fade away, the Justin Marshall lookalike who was about a tenth as talented and committed.

But Jimmy changed, and my opinion did too.

On the field, he peeled off a series of inspiring performances for the Highlanders and Southland.

And off it, he sobered up - literally and metaphorically - proving to the patient All Black coaches that their faith was not misplaced.

He's still an interesting case, Jimmy. He doesn't have the class of Fourie du Preez, the sizzling running ability of Will Genia, or even the exciting package of skills of closest rival Piri Weepu.

But he's tough. He's experienced. His pass is OK. His kicking game is superb. And he is, without question, the greatest defensive halfback the game has ever seen.

My World Cup XV - First five

In which the blogger picks the team he wants to represent the All Blacks when they choke compete in the Rugby World Cup in September-October.

 
10 - Dan Carter

I've argued many times before that perhaps people have just gone a little bit over the top in their assessment of Carter as the greatest player of all time etc etc.

Look, the guy is one superb rugby player. He does everything well. There are no weaknesses.

But Grant Fox was a hell of a first five too. That Andrew Mehrtens bloke was pretty special.

And it's always been my feeling that Carter (a) peaked in 2005 and (b) needs to dominate a World Cup before he can be acclaimed our greatest 10.

But of course he's unchallenged as our starting first five this year, and of course our chances will take a massive hit if he is off-form or injured.

Do you want Aaron Cruden to be running our backline? NO.

Do you want Luke McAlister? NOOOOO.

Do you want Stephen Donald? HELL NOOOOO.

Colin Slade? Good player. But the All Blacks need Dan to help deliver them to glory.

My World Cup XV - Left wing

In which the blogger picks the team he wants to represent the All Blacks when they choke compete in the Rugby World Cup in September-October.

11 - Zac Guildford

A confession: I found the second wing one of the hardest positions to fill in my World Cup XV.

Hosea Gear was an automatic choice for one. I just think the guy has all the tools - and he will look bloody good in a Highlanders GREEN jersey next year.

But the other wing? Shee-it.

For a while I had Sitiveni Sivivatu pencilled in. Experienced, elusive etc. But Siti has hardly been on fire for the Chiefs. In fact, when did he last play a really good test for the All Blacks?

I was a big Cory Jane fan last year. But he doesn't have the form, either. Maybe another unhappy Hurricane?

Joe Rokocoko? Maybe. But just seems to be lacking something at this stage of his career. Drive, maybe.

My choice came down to two young Crusaders flyers.

Sean Maitland is a guy I've liked for a couple of years. He's electric when he's on form. But his time will come next year.

I'm going with Guildford. He's bounced back into some top form with the wandering Crusaders. You could argue he's a bit one-dimensional but you could also argue he's fucking quick. And wingers should be quick.

My World Cup XV - Second five

In which the blogger picks the team he wants to represent the All Blacks when they choke compete in the Rugby World Cup in September-October.

12 - Sonny Bill Williams

I'm what you call a casual rugby league fan.

I count the Penrith Panthers (for 20 years now) and Queensland as my teams, and I like to see the Kiwis beat those evil Kangaroos as much as anyone.

But I don't watch much NRL every week and I don't have a great depth of knowledge about the game other than the basics: you get six tackles, you don't push in scrums, Darren Lockyer is a god, Wayne Bennett is a super coach, the Storm rorted the cap etc.

So when a young New Zealander called Sonny Bill Williams emerged with the Bulldogs a few years ago, it took me a while to realise he was something special.

My enlightenment came one Saturday night when I happened to catch a few minutes of the Doggies playing . . . I want to say Canberra, but it might have been somebody else.

Holy shit. This tall, ripped figure was totally dominant. He was putting in massive hits on defence, ranging with the ball in hand, and making offload after offload. Sonny was obviously very special indeed.

Fast forward and what an extraordinary few years it's been for the man christened Sonny William Williams.

He controversially walked out on the Bulldogs, switched to rugby for a French club, got into boxing, became best friends with Anthony Mundine and converted to Islam.

Then, most shockingly, he decided his dream was to become an All Black. He moved to New Zealand, played for Canterbury and was immediately called up by Graham Henry for the end-of-year tour.

I tried to keep an open mind about SBW when he came home but I wondered if his murky track record and his style would make him an ideal fit with the All Blacks and the Crusaders, both of whom try to maintain the highest standards.

Shows what the fuck I know. He's still fluffing around with boxing, in which he has no future. But he's just dynamite on the rugby field, the most exciting thing we've got.

Too many fancy offloads? Oh please. Offload on, Sonny boy, offload on.

He's clearly in a head-to-head contest with incumbent Ma'a Nonu for the World Cup No 12 jersey. Nonu still has plenty to offer, despite his crap form with the Hurricanes, but it's SBW for me.

Rewind: Apologies, and DC

This is part of a column that appeared originally in the Otago Daily Times on April 10, 2010. On reflection, I agree with the NZRU's decision to apologise to Maori. And is Dan Carter a flat-track bully? Well, if he doesn't win a World Cup . . .

• Sorry, the hardest word

There has been some interesting discussion this week on the topic of whether the New Zealand Rugby Union should apologise to Maori players left behind on South African tours because of the home country's apartheid regime.

The theory is that the NZRU should say sorry for meekly falling into line with the racist Springboks between 1928 and 1960 in order to maintain healthy rugby relations.

It's a fair argument but I wonder if there is that much to be gained from the present union trying to make amends for the sins of previous unions.

Weighing one generation down with guilt over the behaviour of those from three or four generations back has always seemed a waste of time to me.

There are a quarter of a million children living in poverty in New Zealand, and our rate of child abuse is a national shame - those are reasons to be feeling guilty.

Still, if the NZRU is to get to the point where it feels the need to apologise to Maori, it should also consider saying sorry for.-

1 - Not forcing the Welsh to award the Bob Deans try retrospectively.

2 - Failing to appoint Vic Cavanagh coach for the 1949 tour.

3 - Colin Meads ending Ken Catchpole's career.

4 - The 1981 Springbok tour.

5 - Not winning the World Cup since 1987.

6 - Allowing adidas to tinker with the sacred uniform.

7 - Ruining the NPC.

8 - Appointing John Mitchell.

9 - The 2003 World Cup hosting debacle.

10 - All of the dramas over the haka in recent years.

• Carter: hit or miss?

I watched last week's Hurricanes-Crusaders game at my parents' house near Oamaru and made two predictions near the end, both of which came true.

The first was with five minutes to go, with the Hurricanes leading.

"The Crusaders will score."

And they did, adding a phantom try to their earlier illegal try.

Now, anyone who has watched the Crusaders over the past decade knows they are masters at winning close games, so that prediction was hardly wild. But it's what I said next that really made me look good.

"Carter's going to miss this kick."

My folks scoffed at my bold assertion but were silenced when Crusaders first five and designated saviour of New Zealand rugby Dan Carter pushed the conversion wide, leaving the game a draw.

Carter's a heck of a player but I wonder if we haven't got just a little bit carried away in our acclamation of him as the finest No 10 of all time.

To me, there's an element of the flat-track bully about him. He's at his most sublime in dominant All Black performances, and he hasn't delivered enough under pressure to warrant being ranked alongside the truly great players.

Haka ha ha ha

Holy shit! Twenty posts into my blog and I have only mentioned the haka once.

Time to remedy that. And thankfully, we have this video of American basketball superstar Dwight Howard doing the dance of war with the New Zealand Colts rugby team as a starting point.

Weird, eh, that a massive black dude who earns US$16 million a year - check out the magnificent transparency of American sports - should be hanging with a bunch of pimply-faced New Zealand rugby players.

Such is the power of adidas, the German sports giant that is one of the major controllers sponsors of New Zealand rugby.

(An aside: a rugby-loathing colleague loves to point out the irony of the fact the All Blacks ditched long-serving and local jersey manufacturer Canterbury for adidas, only for the Wallabies, in 1999, and the Springboks, in 2007, to win World Cups wearing Canterbury.)

So there's big Dwight, doing a half-passable job of Ka Mate alongside the cream of our rising rugby crop.

As haka-gates go, it can't possibly compare with the Spice Girls giving it a go in Bali in 1997, or Premier League football scum club Everton doing a "he-ha haka" and coming up with a black - and pink! - jersey.

And it's not near as bad as an Italian car company doing an ad with WOMEN performing the haka.

The haka has created so many headlines in recent years. We've had the All Blacks getting the pip in Cardiff and performing the haka inside their changing room; the French getting in the All Blacks' faces before the 2007 World Cup quarterfinal (obviously a good tactic); gingerbread men doing the haka; New Zealand chef de mission Dave Currie overdoing the haka.

Just this year, the NZRU has signed a deal - for a few dollars, one presumes - with the Ngati Toa tribe over the use of the haka, and it has been revealed visitors for the Rugby World Cup will be encouraged to learn the haka.

Most famously, of course, the All Blacks felt the need to invent their own haka, and unveiled Kapa o Pango at Carisbrook before a test against the Springboks in 2005. The new haka ended with a bizarre throat-slashing gesture, which was explained away as some sort of mystical drawing-life-into-our-lungs movement, but which was later altered to a less-offensive action.

Am I the only one who is haka-ed out?

Look, I was there in 2005, and there was genuine excitement when the new haka was unveiled. I've been as moved by the haka before significant tests as anyone else.

But the All Blacks have been far too precious about it over the years. They've also made the big mistake of claiming the haka is theirs, when in fact it belongs to all of us.

I also hate seeing the haka being done by so many different sports teams. To my mind, the haka should only be performed by the All Blacks, and by First XVs before traditional interschools.

A couple of excerpts from my previous columns.-

•White men can't haka
The Black Caps will be on high haka alert following the appointment of veteran Olympic official and noted war dance fan Dave Currie to the position of manager.
Given Currie's predilection for breaking out Ka Mate at the mere hint of New Zealand success, we can expect plenty of thigh-slapping fun should Brendon McCullum smash a century or Iain O'Brien take five wickets.  
----
• The haka was embarrassing . . .
Bejaysus. Now the Irish are doing the haka.
Well, not exactly the Irish. There was a Samoan, a Tongan, a Maori and a weedy white guy with a moustache belting out the war dance at Limerick's lovely Thomond Park on Wednesday morning.
Oh, and they were members of the home team. That's Munster. An Irish rugby team. Doing the haka, not a jig.
I don't know where to start. Just when you think there couldn't possibly be an embarrassing haka to match the one performed by the petulant All Blacks inside their dressing room in Cardiff three years ago, along come Rua Tipoki and company.
It was awful, bile-inducingly awful, to see members of a second-string Irish rugby team performing the haka in front of the second-string All Blacks.
The haka is already overdone and there is no place for it to be performed by players on the books of an overseas club.
It also sets a precedent. Teams around the world are stacked with expatriate New Zealanders. Feel free to haka away, gentlemen.
----
• The haka drama continues
My feelings on the haka are (1) it is overdone, (2) the All Blacks get far too precious about it, and (3) it is overdone, especially by skinny white guys, bronze medallists and Ali Williams.
The horror continues.
First we have a haka hooha in the oxymoronically-named Rugby League World Cup, with the English snubbing the Kiwis' haka by turning their backs and discussing the latest happenings on Coronation Street in a huddle.
Outrage, mutterings of disrespect . . . the reaction was predictable.
Then some Irish plonker with a column goes off at the All Blacks, says that everybody hates them and labels the haka a "leery war dance". Brave stuff when your country has never tasted victory against the All Blacks.
But all this is nothing next to some potentially disturbing news coming out of an area close to my heart.
The Last Word understands the North Otago rugby team has been regularly performing a haka on its tour of Japan.
If it's a one-off and simply for the purpose of attracting attention and promoting New Zealand in a country known to love all things Kiwi, then I will suppress my gagging reflex for a moment.
But if North Otago has developed some sort of haka it intends to perform in the future, I will despair. Pray that it isn't true. It would be the worst thing to happen to a fine rugby province since some idiot coined the nickname Turbines.

My World Cup XV - Centre

In which the blogger picks the team he wants to represent the All Blacks when they choke compete in the Rugby World Cup in September-October.

13 - Conrad Smith

One of the easier decisions, right?

I guess so. Smith has certainly been an automatic selection in recent years when he's been fit - which has, happily, been a more common state than in his early years.

But he's an interesting case. He doesn't demand selection because of his dynamism, or his game-breaking abilities, or the fact he is called Richie, Dan or Big Bad Brad.

Smith's great asset is his ultra-consistency. He shows up, always, and does the things a good centre is supposed to do.

I mean, he's a classy player, don't get me wrong. He's defensively sound, a nice runner, a fine distributor, a leader and a mistake-free footballer. And he's intelligent because, you know, he's a qualified LAWYER, which approximately 872 profiles of him have mentioned.

But you would never say Smith was on the same level as a Brian O'Driscoll or a Stirling Mortlock. You don't look back over a year and pinpoint the games in which Smith made you jump off your seat and yell "faaaarrrrkkkkk".

He is what he is: an experienced, quality midfielder who won't let you down.

Plus, he doesn't really have contenders breathing down his neck. I'm a great admirer of the Highlanders' Kenny Lynn, but you wouldn't call him All Black material. Jared Payne (Blues) has talent but is buggering off, and team-mate Isaia Toeava isn't a centre in my book.

The Chiefs . . . er, who plays centre for the Chiefs? Checking Google.....checking......ah, of course, Richard Kahui. Big, strong, talented, good-looking and always injured. I first met Kahui five years ago when he was drafted into the Highlanders. Lovely kid and a real talent. But will his body ever allow him to string a series of games together?

No 13 goes to Mr Smith. No contest. Just look at this face!

My Team - Valley

This article - written by me - appeared in the April 22-28, 2010 issue of Rugby News magazine.

VALLEY OF THE KINGS

Family and spirit – they are the two most common words used in descriptions of the Valley club.
In small New Zealand provinces, rugby clubs provide many similar benefits of a strong, secure family life, and Valley is a shining example.
The tight-knit club attracts players, coaches and administrators back, year after year after year, because of their love of the place and the social benefits it offers.
“Basically it’s a social thing. People of a like mind get to come together and enjoy themselves and play a bit of rugby,” Valley stalwart Colin Mavor said.
“It’s been like that from day one, for young and old. It’s just a good social centre of the community, and the family ties within the club are very strong.
“We’ve always fought above our weight and I think that shows what the club is made of.”

Valley is based in Weston, a satellite town just 5km inland from Oamaru.
The odd player comes out from town but the majority are rural-based.
“We’ve got farmers, farm workers, stock agents, seed merchants and one shearer this year,” Mavor explains.
Valley was formed in 1988 when three rural clubs within a 10km radius – Weston Pirates, Enfield and Union (based in Ngapara) – realised they could not continue for much longer.
“The clubs just weren’t footing it on their own. There weren’t so many young guys around and every club was struggling,” Valley historian Allan Paterson recalls.
“There was a lot of emotion at that time. I remember we went to a meeting at Union one night and explained what was going on and some of them were horrified. After a while, people started to realise a merger was the best way forward. It was a unanimous decision in the end.”
Union retained its schoolboy section but the rest of the Valley club, decked out in its new blue and gold colours, made its debut in 1989.
Valley has since won four Citizens Shields, in 1998, 1999, 2005 and 2009. In 2005, it also won the combined North Otago-South Canterbury competition, which has sadly fallen by the wayside.
Home base is the distinctive oval at the Weston Sports Ground. The bowl-style ground, created from farmland by the Weston Progress League decades ago, allows people to park their cars and utes overlooking the action, creating unique views and atmosphere.
Valley and its founding clubs have not produced any All Blacks but Valley has had five New Zealand Heartland representatives: hooker Tobias Sekona and backs Ryan McCarthy, Scott Mayhew, Hamish McKenzie and Faaitu Tuamoheloa. Dean Paterson also played for a New Zealand Legends team in 1999.
The club has had its share of stalwarts and three of the greatest have been hooker Barry Fox, utility back Nathan Cunningham and midfield back Mike Mavor. All three have had long careers with both the club and North Otago.
Off the field, people like Colin Mavor, Allan Paterson, Peter Twiss, Ian Mavor, long-serving secretary June Campbell and popular barman Malcolm Allison keep things ticking over.
Valley is fielding a premier team in the Citizens Shield this season, hopes to have a senior team and will have seven or eight schoolboy teams.
The club also has netball and cricket teams, with its top cricket team reaching the final of the North Otago club competition this summer.

GREATEST MOMENT

Played 18, won 18, 909 points for, 140 points against, two trophies won.
That added up to some sort of season for Valley in 2005, when it romped to victory in both the Citizens Shield and combined North Otago-South Canterbury competitions.
Valley beat Maheno 35-25 after extra time in the Citizens Shield final, and thumped fellow North Otago club Old Boys 35-15 in the Aoraki Cup final.
An unbeaten season is an extraordinary effort by any club at any level, but victory in the combined competition was particularly sweet for Valley. North Otago clubs dominated the competition to such an extent the South Cantabrians eventually pulled out.
Veteran back Nathan Cunningham led Valley with 266 points and classy winger Scott Mayhew scored 30 tries, but everyone contributed in a team coached by Barry Matthews, now a Highlanders assistant, and Peter Rowland.
The club’s Senior B side also won the second-tier of both the North Otago (Burns Shield) and combined competitions that year.

CLUB LEGEND

COLIN MAVOR
You can’t go far at Valley without bumping into a Mavor, and Colin is the patriarch of a family that has given so much to the rugby club.
‘Snow’ Mavor, a farmer at Airedale just over the hill from the rugby ground, was the founding president of the merged club, serving in that role for five years. He was the club’s first life member and is back serving as chairman this season.

Mavor played for Enfield and Union, two of the clubs that formed Valley, along with his triplet brothers, Ian and the late Bruce. Colin and Denise Mavor have four sons – Stefan, Jason, Paul and Matthew – all of whom have played for Valley, with Jason and Stefan still pulling on the boots.
Other Mavors, nephews of Colin, to have won the Valley jersey with distinction include Mike, Nathan, Geoff and the late James. Another nephew, former Wairarapa-Bush and Heartland XV inside back Hamish McKenzie, is in the present squad.

In Eben we trust

Otago already has an Australian coach - now it's got a South African captain.

And because the once-mighty rugby province had an historically hopeless season last year, nobody will utter a peep.

Phil Mooney - now labelled a co-coach with Andy Hunter - helped unveil the Otago squad yesterday. It's big, at 30 players, and there are an incredible 14 new faces. That reflects (a) the high turnover in professional rugby and (b) the aforementioned fact that Otago was complete shit last year.

Replacing the Japan-bound Alando Soakai as captain is another flanker, tough and popular South African Eben Joubert.

Tough? Er, yes. Just look at this photo:

Joubert's is quite a story. As revealed in the Otago Daily Times recently, he went through a botched shoulder operation and subsequently became addicted to painkillers.

The Otago squad includes Adam Thomson and Ben Smith, but fingers crossed both will be on All Black duty during the ITM Cup.

A massive clear-out has seen no fewer than 19 of last year's players miss the cut (or run out of town). This won't necessarily mean Otago will beat all comers this season, but it at least signals something has been done in an attempt to stamp out the rot.

There are four first fives (youngster Hayden Parker, oldster Tony Brown, the under-rated Glenn Dickson and English rookie Tony Fenner), but only four players to cover fullback and wing. That seems a little strange.

New faces include former Hawkes Bay midfielder Sam Giddens, former Chiefs prop James McGougan, former All Black Ben Atiga and a couple of young signings from Wellywood, Buxton Popoali'i and Hanipale Galo.

I wouldn't expect miracles. Otago has too much rebuilding to do to expect much more than a handful of wins and perhaps fourth or fifth place in the second tier of the ruined NPC.

My World Cup XV - Right wing

In which the blogger picks the team he wants to represent the All Blacks when they choke compete in the Rugby World Cup in September-October.

14 - Hosea Gear

The real question here isn't: why should Hosea Gear be in the All Blacks?

It's: what were Ma and Pa Gear thinking when they named their bouncing baby boys?

When Maori boys are born in Poverty Bay, they tend to have names like Wiremu or Warren, Hone or Harold. You would have had long odds on a family producing anything as exotic as Rico - the elder brother, who was a decent All Black winger between 2004 and 2007 - and Hosea.

Seriously, Rico and Hosea. They sound like Colombian drug dealers, or Hispanic Los Angeles cops.

I haven't yet read anything explaining why the Gear boys got their fancy handles. The Baby Name Facts website lists seven "celebrities" with the Rico name - and five of them are baseballers. There is only one Hosea, another baseballer.

Anyway, the most famous Hosea in New Zealand is one of my World Cup wings. He's more of a leftie, but I slot him on the right as my other pick is also better on the left.

Gear is the incumbent. He played well on the end-of-season tour in 2010, after having only a couple of opportunities in the previous two years.

The All Black coaches took some convincing that his try-scoring ability was backed by a solid all-round game. But I think the questions have been answered. Gear is big and strong and quick and has a nose for the tryline.

In other words, he's a winger. And a very good one.

Rewind: The Old Otagolds

This is an extract from a column that originally appeared in the Otago Daily Times on November 6, 2010.

Sorry to bang on about North Otago for another week but you will just have to indulge me.

There are elements of the fantastic in the story of how a pipsqueak province transformed from perennial doormat into the minor champion of New Zealand's two premier sports, rugby and cricket.
   
You see, North Otago - or more precisely, Oamaru - was considered a bit of a downtrodden spot a decade or more ago, a place that provided travellers no compelling reason to stop, and a town that demanded you drive at 50kmh for an unreasonably long stretch.
   
It was less multicultural than Invercargill, and it had more bogans than Gore.  

Getting a KFC was a big deal. Civic pride was limited to how we performed in Top Town, or the number of times we got mentioned on the news. They closed our port and they tried to close our hospital. We lost our only movie theatre, and our entertainment options consisted of a pie at the 24-hour Shell or parking up in the trees in the middle of town.
   
But how times have changed.
   
To be at picturesque Whitestone Contracting Stadium last Saturday, when North Otago claimed the Meads Cup by thumping Wanganui, was to be a part of a special celebration in the heartland.
   
Sport is not the only thing, of course, that has helped reinvent Oamaru and North Otago. Victorian celebrations, heritage buildings, irrigation, vineyards, penguins, a great movie complex, new pubs and restaurants, and the planned Alps to Ocean cycleway make a compelling package.  

But to think of a North Otago rugby team that spent decades in the wilderness holding the Meads Cup, at the same time as the North Otago cricket team has the Hawke Cup for the first time, really is fairytale stuff.

You know that thing people do when they compare sporting teams and ponder who would be selected if they were combined?

Just for fun, let's do that with the worst top-division team (Otago) and the best lower-division team (North Otago). Otago names first.

Fullback: Ben Smith v Billy Guyton. Guyton is a rising talent and a lovely runner of the ball. But this is an easy choice because Smith may be the best player in the Highlanders franchise. Edge: OTAGO.

Wing: Joe Hill and Fetu'u Vainikolo v Greg Zampach and Lemi Masoe. Two of these wingers can run, catch and score tries. The others are called Joe and Fetu'u. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

Centre: Paula Kinikinilau v Faaitu Tuamoheloa. Kinikinilau has only just made his debut and, for all we know, is the next Robbie Fruean. Tuamoheloa is a top performer right now. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

Second five: Josh Tatupu v Luke Herden. One of the close calls, but Herden makes more line breaks and gets bonus points for his leadership. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

First five: Chris Noakes v Ben Patston. Noakes has promised some but delivered little - and we have been waiting four years. Patston might be English but he is an exciting all-round player. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

Halfback: Sean Romans v Kilifi Fangupo. A no-contest. Fangupo is electric; "Sparky" Romans shorted out this year. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

No 8: Paul Grant v Tevita Fifita. One of these two reminds you what a good No 8 should do. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

Flanker: Alando Soakai and Brad Cameron v Ross Hay and Josh Collier. Four good grafters, but Soakai's class is the trump card. Edge: OTAGO.

Lock: Hayden Triggs and Hoani Matenga v Eric Duff and Dave Simpson. Matenga isn't really a lock and Triggs went missing. Plus Simpson helped win the Hawke Cup as well. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

Prop: Sam Hibbard and Halani Aulika v Palenapa Mafi and Ralph Darling. The Old Golds front row is under-rated but Aulika was one of the few bright spots of the Otago season. Edge: OTAGO.

Hooker: Pete Mirrielees v Stu Philpott. One got suspended for two weeks for a booze-related incident. One carried his daughter on his shoulders after the final game. Edge: NORTH OTAGO.

So there you go. My combined team would have 10 North Otago players and just five Otago players, which tells you either how high North Otago has risen, or how low Otago has fallen

The Horror-Canes

Let's play a little word association game with the five New Zealand rugby franchises.

Crusaders - Champions (good angel); evil (bad angel).

Blues - Dynamic (good); under-achieving (bad).

Chiefs - Consistent (good); irrelevant (bad).

Highlanders - Resurgent (good); hopeless (bad).

Hurricanes - Entertaining (good); fragile (bad).

It's the very last description on this not-at-all-hastily-assembled list that is behind the dramatic goings-on at Hurricanes HQ over the last week.

Rumours of player discontent with new coach Mark Hammett have boiled away all season, and the handy dismissal of "it's just a media beat-up" finally became redundant when the franchise confirmed it was setting free All Black regulars Ma'a Nonu and Andrew Hore.

What's ensued has been a frenzy of coverage and speculation, the sort of brouhaha that could only accompany a story emanating from the Hurricanes, Blues or Crusaders camps. Sorry Chiefs/Highlanders, but your internal strife just doesn't captivate so many people on a national scale.

The reaction has been interesting. Most Hurricanes fans seem bewildered by the decision to jettison a hooker who is still comfortably one of the two best in the country, and a midfielder who has been one of the All Blacks' best players in recent years.

But plenty have also sided with Hammett, reasoning the Hurricanes' performances this season are proof there is something wrong with the team.

I was shocked when Hammett got the job last year. It seemed one of the more blatant cases of someone getting an extremely important position in New Zealand rugby simply because he had (a) been an All Black and (b) been a Crusader. Oh, and (c) because the NZRU panicked when it looked like Robbie Deans was going to entice Hammett across the ditch.

They questioned Greg Cooper's credentials when he became Highlanders coach in 2004, but to be fair to Cooper, he had at least coached an NPC team, and he was a much-needed fresh face after the 2003 Oliver-Mains meltdown.

Hammett had only been an assistant when he was announced as the successor to long-serving Canes coach Colin Cooper.

You look at the talent at Hammett's disposal and it is genuinely alarming the Hurricanes could finish with the New Zealand wooden spoon.

In saying that, I don't have a huge problem with Nonu and Hore being shown the door. You wouldn't say either has his best years ahead of him, and both have defiencies in their game (Hore lacks dynamism, Nonu is susceptible to brain farts).

Above all, Hammett - rightly or wrongly - is the man in charge, and he needs to make his own decisions. If he wants to rebuild the team, it has to start now.

Some feel that Hammett will fail by trying to introduce Crusaders ideas into the less-structured Hurricanes franchise. Please. As if bringing proven strategies from arguably the most successful New Zealand sports organisation in history is a recipe for failure.

Others with narrow minds have suggested the Hurricanes have failed by "never appointing a coach from their home union". But that argument holds little weight, principally because the franchise only had three coaches (Frank Oliver, Graham Mourie and Cooper) before Hammett.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. And I'm prepared to give Hammett some slack as he tries to turn the Hurricanes from fragile to fantastic.

My World Cup XV - Fullback

In which the blogger picks the team he wants to represent the All Blacks when they choke, er, compete in the Rugby World Cup in September-October.

15 - Ben Smith

Local bias already!

Yes, I happen to live in the same city as Highlanders fullback Ben Smith.

Yes, I saw him play at school (well, I think I remember him at King's), and for his Green Island club, and for the Otago sevens team, and for Otago.

Yes, I am unashamed to admit I am a fan of the kid.

But he gets his place in my World Cup XV on merit. He's a bloody good player and his form dictates he must be picked. And more, that he must start.

We have a running joke in the ODT sports department. The doyen of club rugby, Alistair McMurran, has a habit of picking out a promising player in the Dunedin premier ranks and predicting they are good enough for the All Blacks. He liked a young Ben Smith so much he wrote a profile comparing him to Stephen Larkham (Smith wore headgear and was a first five at the time) and said if Smith was an Australian, he would be known as Ben Larkham-Smith and would already be in a Wallabies squad.

Looks like the bearded master might have been on to something.

I became convinced Smith was something special when I covered the national sevens one year in Queenstown. The fastest, most exciting athletes were in Auckland and Counties and North Harbour and Wellington.

But Otago had this skinny white boy who looked like John Leslie and ran like Christian Cullen. A Joe Average name with Joe Millionaire skills.

Smith joined the other Ben Smith - later, famously, to play a couple of seasons as Billy Elusiv - in the Otago NPC team and duly graduated to the Highlanders. With Israel Dagg drafted south and locking up the fullback jersey, Smith was placed on the wing, and looked right at home.

In 2009, the Highlanders were pretty rubbish but Smith was superb, and Otago was really rubbish but Smith was excellent, leading to his first (and, so far, only) call-up to the All Blacks.

He went on the end-of-year tour, playing one test (against Italy) and one tour match (against the Barbarians).

Smith did not exactly make a fantastic debut but it's not like he failed dismally. Oh no, he dropped the first ball kicked to him. Oh dear, he's the worst All Black since Shayne Philpott.

That one mistake contributed to the ludicrous inclusion of Smith in a "Worst XV of the Henry Era" feature (by a man who, by his own admission, doesn't watch the Highlanders or Otago), and a theme of "Smith blew his opportunity" has been built into every story on him since.

Now, with Smith in sublime form for the resurgent - er, that word seemed appropriate a couple of weeks ago - Highlanders, the media is feeling the love for our boy.

But would he really be a bolter for the World Cup squad? No, he wouldn't.

He runs with pace and grace, he can kick (for goal, for touch and for position), he's intelligent, he's a superb support player and he is defensively sound.

Mils Muliaina is the popular (and, let's face it, the coaches') pick to play fullback at the World Cup. Love Mils. He's a great player with fine all-round skills. But I wonder if his time has passed.

My World Cup XV

People are excited about the start of the Rugby World Cup (less than 100 days away) but to be honest, I am more eagerly awaiting the finish.

No more debate about who should back up Carter and McCaw.

No more stories about expensive tickets, price-gouging, clean stadiums or economic impact.

No extra stress on sports editors in a post-NZPA world.

No worries.

Well, that's assuming the All Blacks win the damn thing, of course. All will be sweetness and light if the 24-year drought is broken.

All will be DISASTER and TRAGEDY and INQUEST if they lose one of the games that count.

I was in Cardiff in 2007 when the All Blacks lost to France in the World Cup quarterfinal. It was a weird night. They weren't supposed to be playing the Frogs, and they certainly weren't supposed to lose.

My most prominent memories aren't of Wayne Barnes or forward passes or missed tackles or the blank looks on All Black faces near the end of the game. They are of:

1. A diplomatic incident between members of the press corps deep within the bowels of Millennium Stadium before kick-off. One of my countrymen had used the old "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" line from the Simpsons in referring to the French. A Gallic scribe took exception and approached the aforementioned Kiwi. Tres disrespectful, he thundered. Well, bombing the Rainbow Warrior didn't show much respect, another New Zealand reporter replied.

2. Seeing a furious, spitting New Zealand radio fancy pants blowing his top after the final whistle. Glory boy had just flown in, all set to ride a glorious wave of victory. You could see he had an anger problem that night.

3. Watching Anton Oliver, a warrior for whom I have the utmost respect, walk down the stairs, and hearing him talk of the All Black dressing room's "smell of death". Later, Oliver was forced to defend himself when several wowsers made too much of the quote.

I didn't feel too bad that night. I mean, I was a little peeved because I was looking forward to the business end of the tournament, and to covering a World Cup semifinal and final. But personally, the All Blacks losing did not affect me.

Will they win this year? I have long had my doubts. The All Blacks just don't do World Cups well. With each failed tournament, the pressure to win intensifies, and playing at home this year will magnify that tenfold. I think the South Africans and the English are dangerous, and I think the Australians have the talent.

BUT. But, but, but . . . the All Blacks are deserved favourites because of their form, and if key players stay fit, and others play well, and the coaches don't make stupid positional switches, and they get a bit of luck . . . they certainly can win the World Cup.

Anyway, this is a long-winded way of introducing a series of posts in which I will pick the team I want to be representing the All Blacks in the World Cup final.

Some North Otago players are still in consideration, right?

Rewind: The state of the union

This column first appeared in the Otago Daily Times on March 5, 2008. I had been commissioned to do a series called State of the Union, assessing the health of New Zealand rugby. Was I on to something? Or, er, badly wrong?

Seven years ago, our newspaper ran a series entitled Rugby In Crisis and concluded the sport had some serious problems.

It would be nice to report all that ails our national game has been neatly solved in the time that has elapsed since then, but that would simply not be true.

Rugby, and New Zealand rugby in particular, faces a grim future if it continues to struggle with the issues that are damaging the foundations, and the perception, of the sport that has been such a big part of this country for over a century.

The issues have been well documented. Crowds are down, television ratings are down, clubs are struggling, the All Blacks can't win the tournament that matters most, the provincial unions are bleeding money, and the trickle of top players to more lucrative overseas teams has become a torrent.

But what we wanted to achieve in this series was not to simply bunker down and say rugby is stuffed. There is too much bemoaning of the sport's problems and not enough constructive suggestions for its future.

Since becoming rugby writer in late 2004, I've had to wrestle with three major questions:

Is rugby now just another sport?

Has it lost its soul?

Or has it simply made the inevitable transition from sport to business since going professional 12 years ago, and suffered the consequences?

There is no doubt there are plenty of people disillusioned with rugby, whether it be the casual fan who feels there is too much on television, the club official annoyed with the New Zealand Rugby Union, or the former player aghast at the rotation of players at All Black level.

On the flip side, my 8-year-old stepson came home buzzing from school last week after a visit from Highlanders forwards Jason Macdonald and Hoani MacDonald, and went to his first game at Carisbrook a day later. Loved it.

A good starting point for considering the future of rugby is accepting there is too much of it, and it is interesting to note even NZRU chief executive Steve Tew agrees.

The issue is not necessarily how many games there are but the length of time over which they are spread. Not many sports ask their fans to sustain their interest from early February until late November. It's an insane situation and eventually someone will have to solve it.

Has the Super 14 done its dash? I think so, at least in its current form.

Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad thing if the competition brought in new teams, perhaps from the Pacific Islands, Argentina and the United States, and went to some sort of two-division system.

Has test rugby lost some of its value? Without question. I don't want to see the All Blacks playing in Hong Kong or churning through endless games against the Springboks and Wallabies.

Can a national championship involving 14 professional teams be sustained? Highly doubtful. While I admire Hawkes Bay's efforts last year, there is too much evidence that the newlook Air New Zealand Cup is going to drive unions out of business.

The average provincial wage bill has skyrocketed to $1.3 million, and associated costs are up to an average of $714,000. I back Otago boss Richard Reid's assertion that it should be a semi-professional competition.

Money, money, money. It's a shame a sport with rugby's glorious traditions now wallows in the stuff, but it's not like we can suddenly abandon professionalism. We have to accept that New Zealand cannot match the obscene sums floating around the European game and, to borrow more of Reid's words, cut our cloth to fit.

A little less obsession with the World Cup might help. Have all the problems been magnified because the All Blacks lost in Cardiff? Would a World Cup victory paper over the cracks?

I don't believe that rugby's stuffed - yet.

It still packs thousands of people into stadiums, dominates water-cooler conversations, provides an outlet for tens of thousands of men, women, boys and girls to experience the joy of team sport, and has the elements of tradition and folklore that other sports would happily embrace.

Not to mention the fact it's still a bloody good game at its heart.

But if rugby was a patient, you'd be worried at the doctor approaching with the furrowed brow. Our game is sick, and we must act now to rescue it.

Green-Landers get the Blues

I'm on holiday but I couldn't resist asking the online editor if he wanted me to live blog the Highlanders-Force game and the unveiling of the Highlanders' new green jersey.

What, you hadn't heard about the new jersey?

You hadn't seen this? Or this?

Anyway, the jersey arrived and it looked OK. But the Highlanders sucked in the second half and their playoff hopes have just died.

http://www.odt.co.nz/sport/rugby/163383/live-highlanders-v-force-it-happens