Introduction - Part One

“In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.”

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

“The dream is always the same.”

“I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being.”

“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career.”

So there you go. There are five great openings to five great books or movies. (In order, in case you don't immediately recognise them: The Hobbit; The Bible; Risky Business; Stand By Me; Trainspotting.)

I've let good old J.R.R. Tolkien, er, God, boyish Tom Cruise, the adult Gordy Lachance and Mark F*cking Renton do my introduction for me.

This is my blog. There is really little else to say.

I never thought I'd start a blog. Before I understood their value, I assumed they were the domain of the sad and the lonely. After enlightenment, I doubted I would have (a) the time or (b) the inclination, after writing all day, to come home at night and write some more.

Time remains in relatively short supply – work plus family plus essential television watching and gaming leaves just enough hours for sleep – and may eventually stop this blog in its tracks.

But I need to write something. You don't become a better writer by writing less, which is what I have done since “promotion” three years ago. A colleague – two of them, actually – have often advised me to write at home, write about anything. Sheez, even write a blog.

So here goes. I plan to write at random times about random topics, principally those within all the really important pastimes: you know, like sport and wrestling and gaming and TV.

I'm going to leave out my family (they get name-dropped enough in the ODT) and I'm going to try to leave out the goings-on at work (because I value my job and my family's security too much to risk getting in trouble).

And speaking of work, that's obviously going to remain my No 1 priority. If this blog was a baseball pitcher, it wouldn't have the “best stuff” - that must remain the property of my newspaper. This will be jottings, musings, stupid lists, links to the paper and a whole lot of other junk.

To kick things off, here's a little list of things I like (yeah, yeah, just the trivial stuff; take it as read that my family usurps all):

• Friday Night Lights (mainly the book and the television series, though the film wasn't bad);
• Outrageous Fortune (best show we've ever made);
• Chocolate, in all its forms (but I'd take Cadbury Caramello if I had to choose);
• Diet Coke (chilled, no ice);
• John Lennon (and Ian Hart's portrayal of him in the brilliant and criminally overlooked Backbeat);
• Newspapers (yes, I'm a passionate supporter of a decaying industry);
• Basketball (the New York Knicks, Indiana, Michigan State, anywhere Mark Dickel plays and the mighty, mighty Tall Blacks);
• Football (Liverpool, the All Whites, Caversham and kinda the Phoenix);
• American football (St Louis Rams, Texas and the Permian Panthers);
• North Otago (it is, and will always be, home);
• Newsboy (New Zealand's funniest man);
• Dai Henwood (New Zealand's second funniest man);
• The Lord of the Rings (not obsessive, but loved the book and the movies and have a few collectibles);
• Macho Man Randy Savage (and others, but he was the first);
• Rugby (first North Otago, then Valley, then Waitaki Boys' High School; like to see the Highlanders and Otago succeed for professional reasons; not really bothered whether All Blacks win World Cup or not);
• My wife's lasagne, hamburgers, chocolate chip cookies and kebabs;
• Xbox 360 (beats the PS3 hands down);
• Fifa 11, Madden 11, NBA 2K11 (seriously, can sports gaming get any better?);
• The Lego video games (except for the Clone Wars garbage);
• The Boston Red Sox (for which I have Stephen King to thank);
• Stephen King (not as passionately now but the books are still on the shelf);
• Barry Crump (dud husband and father but had a distinctive Kiwi voice);
• The Penrith Panthers (can name the starting lineup from the 2003 championship team);
• Queensland (even if State of Origin ain't what it used to be);
• Scrubs (funny);
• Arrested Development (funnier);
• The Big Bang Theory (funniest);
• Stand By Me (always in my top 4-5 movies of all time);
• The United States of America (the people, the sport, the food, the showbiz, the landmarks, the lot);
• Shane MacGowan (those teeth, that voice, the soul);
• Oasis (minus a couple of the weaker albums);
• Johnny Cash (discovered “locusts and honey” a little late, but got there);
• South of the Waitaki (had one enjoyable year at polytech in Timaru, and Wellington is quite nice – otherwise the northern regions can break off and drift away);
• Jaffas (the prince of sweets);
• Farmers (and farmland, which I miss);
• Goodbye Pork Pie (Lesley Morris, that'll do me);
• Cats (just not a dog man at all);
• Rafael Nadal (have preferred him to Federer since he arrived);
• Ford (not really into motorsport but am in the blue camp when it comes to Bathurst).

And . . . that is all. No doubt I've missed something but you don't care and I have wasted enough time. (Not work time, you understand; I am on holiday).

Part two of my introduction will be (gasp) a shorter list of things I don't like.

Until then, Happy Green Day! Which I have labelled this uber-momentous occasion of the Highlanders trotting out on to Carisbrook for the last time, clad in their new green jersey for the first (and not last) time.