For a counterpoint, these are some of the things I don't like. You will note the list is shorter than the first. Because, you know, I'm such a positive person.
I don't like:
- Onions (the devil's food);
- Rugby commentators who don't actually ask any questions in post-game interviews (once I counted Ian Smith making seven statements and not asking one question);
- Hot drinks (seriously – no tea, no coffee, no milo);
- Big cities (I'm just a small-town boy);
- Driving (the only time I enjoy being behind a wheel is on an Xbox);
- Dunedin drivers (but when I do drive, it's fun to count the number of plonkers who don't indicate, drive right up my bum and sail straight through red lights);
- Michael Laws (shame on the Sunday Star-Times and Radio Live for employing the nastiest man in New Zealand);
- The Crusaders (evil);
- The New York Yankees (eviller);
- Manchester United (evillest);
- Dogs with square jaws (and others – basically, if the dog don't live outside and round up sheep, I don't like it);
- Titanic (I f*cking hate that movie);
- CSI (and SVU and NCIS and pretty much every TV show consisting of letters);
- Waitangi Day (Anzac Day should be our national day);
- Star Trek (and science fiction – Star Wars excepted – in general);
- Arrogance (runs rife in the worlds of sport and journalism);
- Young New Zealanders who think they are superior because they are hanging out with other New Zealanders in a big flat in London (yawn, heard it all before);
- Drugs (I am Mr Puritanical when it comes to these);
- Sports teams talking about “the brand” (especially the All Blacks);
- Over-use of the haka (especially by random sports teams that haven't won or, worse, by American high school kids).
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