My World Cup XV

People are excited about the start of the Rugby World Cup (less than 100 days away) but to be honest, I am more eagerly awaiting the finish.

No more debate about who should back up Carter and McCaw.

No more stories about expensive tickets, price-gouging, clean stadiums or economic impact.

No extra stress on sports editors in a post-NZPA world.

No worries.

Well, that's assuming the All Blacks win the damn thing, of course. All will be sweetness and light if the 24-year drought is broken.

All will be DISASTER and TRAGEDY and INQUEST if they lose one of the games that count.

I was in Cardiff in 2007 when the All Blacks lost to France in the World Cup quarterfinal. It was a weird night. They weren't supposed to be playing the Frogs, and they certainly weren't supposed to lose.

My most prominent memories aren't of Wayne Barnes or forward passes or missed tackles or the blank looks on All Black faces near the end of the game. They are of:

1. A diplomatic incident between members of the press corps deep within the bowels of Millennium Stadium before kick-off. One of my countrymen had used the old "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" line from the Simpsons in referring to the French. A Gallic scribe took exception and approached the aforementioned Kiwi. Tres disrespectful, he thundered. Well, bombing the Rainbow Warrior didn't show much respect, another New Zealand reporter replied.

2. Seeing a furious, spitting New Zealand radio fancy pants blowing his top after the final whistle. Glory boy had just flown in, all set to ride a glorious wave of victory. You could see he had an anger problem that night.

3. Watching Anton Oliver, a warrior for whom I have the utmost respect, walk down the stairs, and hearing him talk of the All Black dressing room's "smell of death". Later, Oliver was forced to defend himself when several wowsers made too much of the quote.

I didn't feel too bad that night. I mean, I was a little peeved because I was looking forward to the business end of the tournament, and to covering a World Cup semifinal and final. But personally, the All Blacks losing did not affect me.

Will they win this year? I have long had my doubts. The All Blacks just don't do World Cups well. With each failed tournament, the pressure to win intensifies, and playing at home this year will magnify that tenfold. I think the South Africans and the English are dangerous, and I think the Australians have the talent.

BUT. But, but, but . . . the All Blacks are deserved favourites because of their form, and if key players stay fit, and others play well, and the coaches don't make stupid positional switches, and they get a bit of luck . . . they certainly can win the World Cup.

Anyway, this is a long-winded way of introducing a series of posts in which I will pick the team I want to be representing the All Blacks in the World Cup final.

Some North Otago players are still in consideration, right?